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Hello, and welcome to the Frankly Speaking podcast. Today, I am joined by my lovely wife, Annie.

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Hello.

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And we will cover the rest of our marriage journey, hopefully. We'll see how much of it we get through, but last time we had just been kicked out, almost evicted from our last condo together, and we have basically each decided to get our own apartments because we thought, "Oh, are we just dating each other out of convenience? Maybe it's like too early to move in together."

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Because we had only known each other for a couple of months at that point.

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Like one month at that time?

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One or two, I don't remember.

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Yeah, and then I kind of found like two other girls on Facebook Marketplace and moved into, it was a two-bedroom apartment with two baths, and one of the girls also lived in the living room, and then we kind of just like split up the payments that way.

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And I was there for about three months until we decided, like, okay, let's actually move together.

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Yeah, and then the place I moved into was also a two-bedroom, two-bath, but I really didn't like my roommate that much. Let's call him Brad.

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Brad was totally normal whenever I would talk to him, and then he would like complain to Annie behind my back.

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And then he would like complain to Annie behind my back, like he was so passive-aggressive.

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He never actually like told me he had any problems with me, but then he would like complain to Annie all the time.

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Yeah, so I don't know if Frank is oblivious or something, but he would like go and eat Brad's food.

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He would literally offer me his food. He'd be like, "Hey, do you want to eat this thing?"

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I'd be like, "Yeah, okay."

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So one time I just like went to visit Frank, and then Brad was like, "Hey, can you tell Frank to stop eating my bread?"

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Yeah, I don't remember this. And like I guess he never said anything to me, like in any form.

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He would always just complain to Annie, and then I would like go do whatever thing he said, but that was extremely annoying.

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Like I would have preferred if he just told me to my face rather than complain to my girlfriend.

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But anyways, yeah, I was getting sick of living with Brad, and Annie pretty much stayed over every night anyways.

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So it's not like she was getting the value out of her own apartment.

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When did we, like why did we decide to live together?

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He was subletting to me, and we had the option to basically renew the lease, and I didn't want to room with him.

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But I really liked where we were staying, so I basically found a place that was one floor below.

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And I thought, "Okay, this is like a pretty good deal. It was cheaper than like both of what we were paying at the time."

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So here's the reason why I didn't want to move out of my existing place with other two girls.

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Because I signed a yearly lease, and they did like extensive background checks on me.

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And should I tell the story? It's super long.

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I don't know, I can't...

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Yeah, up to you.

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So basically, one girl was staying in the master bedroom, and she's got the master bath, and she also has a parking lot.

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So she was paying $1,600.

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I was staying in the second bedroom and sharing a bathroom with a girl in the living room, and I was paying $1,500, which is really reasonable to me.

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I think that was a good deal because I was paying $1,600 at your first condo, and that was just a living room.

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And I think the part that sucks is the girl in the living room is sharing a bathroom with me, and she's also in the living room, and she's also paying $1,300.

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So she's not getting a great deal out of this in comparison.

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And so basically, when I tried to leave, the girl in the living room took this as an opportunity to renegotiate the split, and was like, if I wanted to leave, I would have to basically rent out my room for like $1,600 or $1,700 so that she could have a break.

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And I thought that was really unfair because it's obviously harder for me to rent out or like find someone to sublet my room for $200 extra from what I was paying.

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So I basically didn't want to agree, and they won't let me out of the lease.

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So I was just like, so stressed out because I was still in kind of relatively new country, new city, trying to figure out life.

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And I don't know, I just like didn't want to break the law or anything because I was in this contract.

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And to him, it was just so simple.

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He was just like, "What are you even worried about?"

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And then there was this one day where I was just so stressed.

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It was raining, and I went to pick him up from work.

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And then to add a little bit more color to this, the girl who was in the suite with the en suite bathroom, she was getting a really good deal.

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So she loved that living room bedroom because she was paying really cheap for a one-bedroom private bath compared to Annie.

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And then the other thing that the living room girl probably thought about is since Annie basically wasn't there most of the time anyway,

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like she was technically almost getting that bathroom to herself.

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And like who knew what would happen with the next girl.

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And so like when Annie went to like visit me at work that one day, she was wearing her coat and just like completely drenched.

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And I just like felt so depressed.

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It was like one of those Korean drama scenes.

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Yeah, I still remember it pretty vividly today.

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But yeah, it was in my mind, I was thinking like, who cares?

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Like they're going to have to deal with it because like if you leave and you're not paying like they're going to have to find anyone someone anyways to just make rents or be kicked out.

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And so I felt like it was kind of an empty threat.

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Um, I didn't really understand where a lot of the stress was coming from, I guess, Annie.

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Yeah.

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Well, I worried about my deposit because like, you know, we talked about how expensive the deposits were in San Francisco.

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And my deposit was one and a half times rent.

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So it's like almost what, like $2,000 or something.

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And I worried about getting that back.

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Right.

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So then basically I was telling Annie, like, oh, you just get the next person to like pay the deposit up front, which Annie eventually did find someone.

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Yeah.

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And it all kind of worked out, except that like rents got renegotiated between the three of them.

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I honestly don't know.

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I think basically the first girl, the girl in the master bedroom gave up her parking spot.

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So then the girl in the living room was able to rent out that parking spot for like $200 and to subsidize her rent.

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Um, but yeah, I kind of pulled a fast one on them.

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I basically like found someone for that room without even telling the girls or like getting their approval.

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And I got that girl to like basically sign a contract with me, transfer me the deposit.

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So then I really had nothing to worry about.

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Like I already got my money.

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I didn't care if they didn't figure it out.

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But I think this is like super common in San Francisco.

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Like everyone tries to screw each other over just for money.

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Like things are so expensive.

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You see this type of, you know, like disagreement or like argument all the time.

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It's specifically over rent too.

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Like even with my roommate situation with Brad, his room was like slightly bigger, but we were paying the same amount of money.

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We're paying the same amount of money, which he kind of like conveniently left out before I moved in, which also made me pretty annoyed and like not want to room with him.

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And so, I mean, even after I moved out and moved in with Annie, I still like would get messages from all the time, him all the time asking to like hang out and stuff.

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And I would just kind of ignore him because like, okay, why are you trying to be friends with me?

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You clearly are annoyed with me in many ways, but maybe his like communication style is just like passive aggressive and not confrontational.

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I don't really know.

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While you were living with Brad, I feel like that's when we got more serious with our relationship.

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Yeah, because kind of going back into like how the progression of our relationship, I actually said I love you first, because we did we decided to play this like 32 questions one night.

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And I think one of the last questions in the list was like, if you had died right now, what's one thing that you will regret?

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And I was like, oh, I will regret not saying I love you too, Frank.

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And then he just like made fun of me for saying that, like, and then he was like, I guess I love you too or something.

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And then so I think that happened, like, you know, a month into moving there.

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So at that point, it was like dating each other to get married.

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Eventually, we've been dating for like four or five months at that point.

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Like three months at that time.

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Yeah.

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So we moved in together super early.

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Well, I guess for the second time, because we were originally living together.

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We split up and now we're moving into this new place again, which I was pretty excited about because now we would have our own private place.

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We wouldn't have to worry about roommates.

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Yeah, we could.

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We actually picked up a bunch of like free furniture.

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Oh, my gosh.

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Yeah.

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So, so Frank has like no furniture.

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Like he refuses to get a couch or a dining room table or anything like his bed always just sat on the floor.

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Yep.

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And so we moving to this new place.

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It's just a gigantic living room with a bean bag that he bought just like in the middle.

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And he refuses to get any other furniture besides like a basketball, like one of those arcade basketball hoops, which took up like a quarter of the living room.

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And then we would go dumpster diving, which is one of Frank's favorite activities.

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Yep.

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But it's not really dumpster diving.

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Like because we lived in this like large apartment complex, there's just like one garage with a bunch of like abandoned like furniture that weren't that bad.

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And he would just go and casually like browse and then he will also look on Craigslist for like random furniture that people were getting rid of.

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And there's one time he made us walk like several blocks down this very sketchy area in San Francisco.

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And there was this very large table like the couple was like moving back to Europe and he wanted us to carry it back like by hand.

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Yeah, which I was totally fine with.

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Annie did not have the strength.

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No, it's also very embarrassing.

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And so Annie actually ended up calling it Uber and we put the dining table in the Uber and we also got like a bunch of clothes hangers.

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I think we still have to this day.

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Yeah, we also got a bunch of chairs like folding chairs.

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Oh, yeah, the chairs were nice.

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Yeah.

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And that table stayed with us for three moves.

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Like we took it to Chicago with us.

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We took it back to San Jose with us.

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Yep.

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And we finally got rid of it before we moved back to Canada.

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Yeah.

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I mean, I still wanted to keep it, honestly, but Annie kind of vetoed it.

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And we actually got rid of a lot of our like free furniture that I liked.

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But yeah, I mean, we're in this new place now.

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We have some amounts of furniture.

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I don't think we have a couch at that point.

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Right.

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No, we bought that much later to get a couch.

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We have a photo.

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Maybe I'll put it up like just sitting on his beanbag.

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Yeah.

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So I mean, our relationship is pretty steady at this point.

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I don't remember at what point we actually go on a vacation to Japan.

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Is that in April.

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So we had already lived together for like four months in this new condo together by April.

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I don't really remember.

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I'm sure we fought a lot, but I don't really remember.

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Well, I have a perfect example of you fighting a lot or us fighting a lot.

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So my friend, the same friend that played ping pong with us.

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Oh, yeah.

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So she, her fiance at the time was, you know, working in private equity in San Francisco.

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And she would come to visit him from out of town all the time.

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So when she was in town, I asked Frank to come visit her with me.

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And so it was a night and Frank and I were walking towards her place.

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And we somehow got into an argument basically about how I don't feel comfortable bring him to places with me because he always has this like really mean face on doesn't smile doesn't say hi.

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So it's really hard for me to like bring him out because I feel so much pressure because I feel like he's not going to do a good job like entertaining my friend.

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And then so he got upset at me and just literally left, left me in the middle of the street and was like, I'm not going to deal with this.

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I'm going to go home.

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Let me preface this with every time her friends meet me, they love me.

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So it's completely in Annie's head.

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Like I do great with people.

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I don't like people.

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I don't like people, but people like me.

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I want to, I want to make that point very explicitly clear.

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So I show up to my friend's place.

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Like I think I brought some food or something and I like show up to her place just like crying.

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And she opens the door and she's like, Oh my God, what happened?

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So, needless to say, she does not have a very good first impression of Frank.

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Literally all of her friends have a bad impression of me before meeting me because she'll complain about all of our like dirty laundry and just like nonstop complaints about me.

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And then when they meet me, they're like, Oh, this guy's actually normal.

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And that's not true.

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He's not normal.

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But so the same friend, like she's one of my closest friends and we basically use her as therapy now.

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Like I use her as therapy.

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So every time I see her with Frank, I would just be complaining about Frank the whole time.

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And her personality is very similar to Frank's.

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So she would be like, Oh, I see where you're coming from, but I also see where you're coming from.

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And, you know, talk us through it.

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And I always feel a lot better after.

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Yeah.

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It's funny because when we found out that I was really similar to her in personality type, Annie got very jealous in that moment being like, well, why don't you just marry her then?

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Like, what are you doing with me?

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Like you guys are so similar.

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Well, until you realize that Frank is really difficult to date.

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So if you put a Frank next to another Frank, like they'll never get along.

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I mean, yeah, that's true.

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Like I've met people like guys with similar personality type to me and I don't get along with them very well.

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And so where were we?

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We were just moved in together.

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Oh, we talked about the fights and we were going like, I guess we can skip over to like Japan or something.

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Yeah.

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So I had always planned on going to Japan with my girlfriends in the past, but it just never happened because I would always break up with them before going.

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And so I tried to plan it with Annie being like, oh, maybe this time we'll actually make it.

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And it was going to be a sign whether or not we were going to stay together.

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Like, yeah, work out.

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And like, we almost didn't make it there.

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So like, it was so tumultuous, like what happened on our way there, like a ton of things went wrong.

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Like, like, I think at one point I was almost thinking like, I'm just not going to go on this trip.

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Yeah.

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Like while you were on the flight or something.

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Yeah.

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Like a connecting flight.

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I was like, I should just take a flight.

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Oh, yeah.

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Or go to Iowa or something.

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Oh my gosh.

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Um, but I think that was also the, I think the beginning of the trip was really rough, but it actually ended up being like one of the best trips.

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Yep.

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I know Frank is really impatient.

211
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:10,160
So whenever we take a trip together, I always have to be like super, super composed and just like, get my shit together.

212
00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:12,160
So that we do not explode.

213
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:18,160
Um, but what happened was that morning we had a really early flight and Frank is not a morning person.

214
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:22,160
He gets really grumpy and he needs like several hours to wake up from sleeping.

215
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:25,160
Um, so it was like a 4:00 AM flight or something.

216
00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:28,160
We leave really early before we left.

217
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,160
I was like, babe, do you need your wallet?

218
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:31,160
And he looked at it.

219
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,160
No, no, I did.

220
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:33,160
I did.

221
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,160
Did you?

222
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:39,160
You looked at it and was like, no, I only need my passport.

223
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:45,160
And mind you, before we left, I was like, Oh, I did some research online.

224
00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:49,160
I was like, you need a lot of cash in Japan because they don't take credit cards.

225
00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:51,160
And Frank was like, no, I don't need a lot of cash.

226
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,160
Like I'm just going to bring my card.

227
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:54,160
No worries.

228
00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:59,160
And then against as well, I took out a bunch of cash, like as much as I had.

229
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:04,160
So I had about $600, $600 to a thousand, something like that.

230
00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:05,160
Yeah.

231
00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:09,160
It wasn't a lot, but I was like, Oh, I'll, you know, well, we can get by, especially he

232
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:10,160
has his credit card.

233
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:15,160
And that was kind of the idea that I was going to like put out the cash and he was going to

234
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,160
put anything else on his credit card.

235
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:23,160
So we go to the airport and he's sitting there and he's like, I'm really hungry.

236
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:24,160
I'm going to go get some food.

237
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:32,160
And so he goes and he comes back and he's like, babe, I don't have money for food.

238
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,160
I didn't bring my wallet.

239
00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:35,160
Yeah.

240
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:38,160
So like at that point we had prepaid for a lot of things.

241
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:40,160
So we prepaid for the Airbnbs and hotels.

242
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:47,160
We prepaid for our rail pass, which basically lets you use the Japan rail system unlimited

243
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:50,160
number of times in like a two week time period or something.

244
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:53,160
And then we also prepaid for all of our flights.

245
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:55,160
So like our major expenses were paid for.

246
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:59,160
The only things that we didn't pay for were just like day to day food.

247
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:03,160
And at that point, Annie, like didn't have a lot of cash just in general.

248
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:05,160
I just like didn't have a lot of money in general.

249
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:06,160
I didn't have a lot of money.

250
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:11,160
And so I had like a decent amount and I was thinking like, Oh, I could pay for a lot of

251
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:15,160
this because I think at that point we were still splitting rent too.

252
00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:18,160
And so you were paying slightly more rent than I was.

253
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:21,160
But I was basically living like paycheck to paycheck.

254
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:22,160
So.

255
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:23,160
Yeah.

256
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:28,160
And I don't know how I forgot my credit card because in my mind, I thought I had taken

257
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:31,160
like one out along with my passport and stuff.

258
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:32,160
But I guess I didn't.

259
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:39,160
And so the entire trip, we basically have to live on this like $600 budget.

260
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,160
We actually did manage to get some more cash.

261
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:42,160
Yeah.

262
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:45,160
So I still had my credit card.

263
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,160
Like I still had my wallet.

264
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:52,160
But my thing is, I don't know why, but every time I go to a new country, I get into this

265
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:54,160
like very stingy money saving mode.

266
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:58,160
I just don't want to spend any extra like more money than I have to.

267
00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:03,160
So as soon as Frank told me that he didn't have his wallet, I just like get into this calculation

268
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:04,160
phase.

269
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,160
Like I'm going to get paid next month.

270
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:09,160
Once that money comes in, we'll still be in Japan.

271
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:12,160
So we have time to take out extra money.

272
00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:16,160
Like at least on the last like three days of the trip.

273
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:22,160
So as long as $600 lasts for like the first seven days or something, like I started calculating

274
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,160
in my head.

275
00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:26,160
And for some reason, Frank got mad at me for doing that.

276
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:28,160
I was like, why are you so poor?

277
00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:29,160
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

278
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:35,160
I got so upset and sad because I'm like, you're the one that left your wallet and you're blaming

279
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:37,160
me for being poor.

280
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:38,160
Yeah.

281
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,160
I'm trying to think back.

282
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:43,160
Like in that moment, I was thinking like, ah, this person is so financially irresponsible.

283
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:45,160
How did she not have any money?

284
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:46,160
Blah, blah, blah.

285
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:49,160
But it was definitely like my fault for forgetting my credit card.

286
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:52,160
And it's like, it's not that I was financially irresponsible.

287
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:53,160
Like I didn't have money.

288
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:58,160
I just wanted to be responsible with the way that I, you know, spent it.

289
00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:04,160
But yeah, it was a super rocky start, like where we like land from our connecting flight.

290
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:07,160
And at this point, we're both very mad at each other.

291
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:10,160
And I'm thinking like, oh my God, do I even want to go anymore?

292
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:12,160
Should I just like take a flight somewhere else?

293
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:13,160
Yes.

294
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:14,160
Because I still have my phone.

295
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:19,160
So I could have booked another flight with my phone or like PayPal or something.

296
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:23,160
But we kind of go to Japan and the rest of the trip goes fairly smoothly.

297
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:24,160
Yeah.

298
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:27,160
Um, the money issued actually didn't affect us at all.

299
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:32,160
Like we weren't able to eat really high end places, but we still ate a ton of food.

300
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:32,160
Yeah.

301
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:35,160
We pretty much got to eat whatever we wanted.

302
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:39,160
Um, we just didn't have like a wagyu steak dinner.

303
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,160
We didn't go to one of those, like a public bath.

304
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:47,160
Oh, and we also didn't do like the more expensive tourist attractions.

305
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:48,160
Yeah.

306
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:53,160
But in general, like we were eating so much every day and we were walking like 17,000 steps

307
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:54,160
every day.

308
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:55,160
22,000.

309
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:56,160
Like, yeah, it was a crazy amount of walking.

310
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:59,160
We were basically just walk, eat, walk, eat, walk, eat the entire day.

311
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:00,160
Yeah.

312
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:05,160
And like traveling with Frank, the best is to just not plan anything.

313
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:06,160
Yeah.

314
00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:09,160
I think we had like specific major attractions, but outside of that, we would not plan like

315
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:10,160
on a day to day.

316
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:17,160
Um, I guess the best food in Japan actually was from a lot of the convenience stores there

317
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:18,160
on every block.

318
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:23,160
There's like two or three convenience stores that are open 24 seven and the food is surprisingly

319
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:24,160
high quality.

320
00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:28,160
So like there are seven 11 in Japan, but it's nothing like the seven 11 in the West.

321
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:33,160
Like the seven 11 in the West, you think of this like kind of trashy, low grade, terrible

322
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:34,160
tasting food.

323
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:37,160
But in Japan, it's like a legitimate place to eat.

324
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:40,160
Like people will go there after work for a meal.

325
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,160
It's like one of the best snacks.

326
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:44,160
We always ate our breakfast there.

327
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:49,160
Cause like nothing opens like, yeah, in the morning earlier than like 11 30 or something.

328
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,160
So it's like a ghost town.

329
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:53,160
If you head out early in the morning.

330
00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:57,160
Um, and if you do want to take out cash, seven 11 is the only place.

331
00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,160
Seven 11 is the only place to do it.

332
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:00,160
Yeah.

333
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:04,160
There's probably other places, but like nowhere that was really convenient for us.

334
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:09,160
But yeah, in Japan, one thing I was actually a little disappointed by, we went to the fish

335
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:11,160
market, which is known to be pretty famous.

336
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:14,160
Um, and I didn't think it was that good.

337
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:16,160
Like the sushi we ate there.

338
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:20,160
I just thought it was, it was actually worse than sushi we'd had in the States.

339
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:20,160
Yeah.

340
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:23,160
So they only have nigiri and sashimi.

341
00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:29,160
They never have any of those like double dragon rolls, which is Frank's favorite.

342
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:33,160
And because the fish is so fresh, it's very chewy.

343
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:38,160
Um, it's not like the frozen fish here where then it gets like softer.

344
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:39,160
Yeah.

345
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:40,160
I think that's what you like.

346
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:44,160
Um, so it totally depends, but like the fish is definitely really fresh.

347
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:45,160
Yeah.

348
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:48,160
It's fresh, but in my opinion, did not taste that good.

349
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:49,160
Yeah.

350
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:52,160
Um, the one thing, the best food we had was just noodles in general.

351
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,160
Like any noodle place we went to would be amazing.

352
00:22:54,160 --> 00:23:01,160
So whether that's like ramen noodles or like udon, udon, fast food places, like every noodle

353
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:05,160
place we went to, regardless of the price was just absolutely amazing.

354
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,160
And mochi was also the best mochi.

355
00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:08,160
Yeah.

356
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:11,160
We've tried a ton of mochi since coming back, but they've all been pretty bad.

357
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:18,160
Um, the only place that we've had good mochi was in this like, uh, Japanese store in Japan,

358
00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:19,160
Italian, San Jose.

359
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:22,160
That was like the only place that even come close.

360
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:25,160
Um, but yeah, we're hanging out in Japan.

361
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:26,160
We're walking around everywhere.

362
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:30,160
Uh, one of the highlights of our trip actually is we go to the city called Nara where you

363
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:32,160
can interact with a bunch of deer.

364
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:35,160
So they'll let you buy these like crackers and feed the deer.

365
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:40,160
And Annie was like getting bullied by these deer because they're super friendly with humans.

366
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:41,160
They're very used to it.

367
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:42,160
Yeah.

368
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:44,160
And so they like go up to her and like bite her and like headbutt her and be like,

369
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:45,160
give us these crackers.

370
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:46,160
Yeah.

371
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:47,160
They get so aggressive.

372
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:50,160
And Frank refuses to feed the deer, even though it's.

373
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,160
I mean, I wasn't interested.

374
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:55,160
I'm not, I'm not super into like animals in general.

375
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:58,160
Um, but that was actually only like a half day or maybe.

376
00:23:58,160 --> 00:23:59,160
Yeah.

377
00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:02,160
We did a half day in Nara and then we went to Osaka.

378
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:06,160
I don't remember at what point, but I lose our rail passes.

379
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:12,160
So like, Oh, these rail passes, how they work is essentially you, you prepay for them.

380
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:17,160
And each of you gets like this train ticket type thing that lets you use the rail an unlimited

381
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:18,160
number of times.

382
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:22,160
So this is actually a more convenient way to travel from city to city rather than having

383
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:23,160
to take a flight.

384
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:30,160
And because I did not, I don't know why, but I, at the time I didn't trust Annie to like

385
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:31,160
keep these safe.

386
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:32,160
I thought she would like lose them.

387
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:36,160
She just thinks that I'm this idiot and you know, can't do anything.

388
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:43,160
So the whole time I keep these rail passes from like, you know, the States all the way

389
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:44,160
to this last stop.

390
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:49,160
We were like in Osaka ready to head back to Tokyo to like catch our flight.

391
00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:52,160
And Frank was like, Annie, give me the rail passes.

392
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:57,160
Like, I don't trust you to, you know, carry us to like the end of the trip with these rail

393
00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:58,160
passes.

394
00:24:58,160 --> 00:24:59,160
I'm like, I'm fine.

395
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:00,160
I'm fine.

396
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:01,160
And he's like, no, I insist.

397
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:05,160
So I give him the rail passes in the train station.

398
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:09,160
And then we go get food, like literally under 20 minutes.

399
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:12,160
We are about to go into the train station.

400
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:17,160
And I asked Frank for the rail passes and he's like, I don't know where they are.

401
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:24,160
And so he was just wearing this large sweatshirt and he just puts the rail passes like right

402
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:25,160
in his pocket.

403
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:30,160
And it was like, went in from one end and went out from the other while he was buying

404
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:31,160
food.

405
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:32,160
Yeah.

406
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:34,160
So what happened is they basically slipped out.

407
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:38,160
Luckily people in Japan are very nice and we were able to find them really quickly.

408
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,160
Like in five minutes or so.

409
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:46,160
So like when Frank realized I was gone, I just like frantically starts to like look all over

410
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:47,160
the place.

411
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:51,160
I saw one like, you know, 20 feet over there.

412
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:54,160
So I run over, I grab it and like, we cannot find the other one.

413
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:56,160
So I'm like going crazy.

414
00:25:56,160 --> 00:26:01,160
And then I go to, I think I go to like the train person.

415
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:03,160
I'm like, oh, we lost a rail pass.

416
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:07,160
And then this really nice American couple was like, oh, are you looking for a rail pass?

417
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:08,160
Like we found one.

418
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:10,160
We gave it to like the officer.

419
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,160
And like, that's when we found the other one.

420
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:15,160
But like ever since that time.

421
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:16,160
Okay.

422
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:17,160
Okay.

423
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:18,160
I mean, I'm sure.

424
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:22,160
So like many examples of like when we go to Costco and you have to give their receipt

425
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:24,160
for you to check off.

426
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:26,160
And she'll be like, where's the receipt?

427
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:27,160
I gave it to you.

428
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:28,160
I'd be like, no, you didn't.

429
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:29,160
Yeah.

430
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:30,160
She's like, yes, I did.

431
00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:31,160
Give me the receipt.

432
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:32,160
I gave it to you.

433
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:34,160
I'm like, and you did not give me this receipt.

434
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:35,160
I don't know what you're talking about.

435
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:36,160
Like check your pockets.

436
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:38,160
And she's like, no, like I gave it to you.

437
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:39,160
And then I like check in her pocket.

438
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:40,160
I pull it out.

439
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:41,160
And she's like, oh, okay.

440
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,160
And this has happened multiple times.

441
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:44,160
It's not.

442
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:45,160
I don't know why.

443
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:47,160
Every time she thinks she gave me the receipt.

444
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:51,160
So like stuff like that made me think like, oh, she can't be trusted with the thing.

445
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:52,160
Yeah.

446
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:53,160
But like in general, she can.

447
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:56,160
And like, obviously I cannot be trusted.

448
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:57,160
Yeah.

449
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:59,160
We have many, many more examples.

450
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:02,160
Like two, I can think like off the top of my head.

451
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:04,160
And we're just going to kind of go off on a tangent.

452
00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:09,160
One time Frank was like booking a flight to visit me.

453
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:14,160
I won't say the location, but basically he books the wrong dates.

454
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:18,160
So like it was supposed to be like, let's say August 10th to the 20th.

455
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:21,160
He books it for like August 21st to the 30th.

456
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:23,160
And so I can't.

457
00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:27,160
Oh, so right after he books it, he was like, why did I get the wrong confirmation?

458
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:30,160
I'm like, you probably booked for the wrong date.

459
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:35,160
So then I have to go and call the airline and then fix it because he hates customers.

460
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,160
He hates talking to customer service.

461
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:39,160
And then the other time.

462
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:42,160
Oh, yeah.

463
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:47,160
So he decided to treat me to a play while we were in New York.

464
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:48,160
Hamilton.

465
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:49,160
No, it was Book of Mormon.

466
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:50,160
Book of Mormon.

467
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:51,160
Yeah.

468
00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:54,160
And he books it for the Tuesday after we leave New York.

469
00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:57,160
And there are like no refunds or something.

470
00:27:57,160 --> 00:28:05,160
And I had to be on the phone for literally two hours trying to change these tickets because he made the wrong choice.

471
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:09,160
I have this really bad habit where I guess I don't double check my work.

472
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:12,160
I just kind of assume I got it right on the first time.

473
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:16,160
Oh, so this kind of goes back to like our school days and test taking.

474
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:18,160
So I would always do really well on tests.

475
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:23,160
And I very rarely double check my work because I just think like, oh, I just got this right.

476
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:24,160
Yeah.

477
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:25,160
Annie was very meticulous.

478
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:28,160
No, I did terrible in tests.

479
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:31,160
And it was usually because I read the question wrong.

480
00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:32,160
And like, that's kind of what I learned.

481
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:39,160
Like, so as an adult, I'm like, if I had just rewrite the question like a couple of times, I would have gotten it right.

482
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:46,160
So now whenever I do like important things, I will make sure that I triple check my work.

483
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:51,160
So that's why I'm still like not very detail oriented in like everyday stuff.

484
00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:52,160
Like I lose the Costco receipts.

485
00:28:52,160 --> 00:29:01,160
But if it's important, like booking a flight or, you know, booking tickets where it's like actual money involved, I always double check.

486
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:02,160
Yeah.

487
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:13,160
But like in general, our Japan trip went very smoothly outside of that rail pass thing and the like lack of money, which like didn't really affect us at all.

488
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:14,160
Yeah.

489
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:22,160
Like in hindsight, it was pretty fun because it was good because we only spent less than $3,000 on both of us.

490
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:23,160
For two weeks.

491
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:24,160
For two weeks.

492
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:24,160
Yeah.

493
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:25,160
So really good deal.

494
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:27,160
And was that including the housing and stuff?

495
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:28,160
Yeah, it was including everything.

496
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:29,160
Yeah.

497
00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:30,160
Yeah.

498
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:31,160
So it was an extremely cheap vacation.

499
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:32,160
We still had a ton of fun.

500
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:34,160
We had a bunch of pictures.

501
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:38,160
Oh, you're really sad about missing like the cherry blossom season, right?

502
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:39,160
Oh yeah.

503
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:40,160
Like cherry blossom.

504
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:43,160
I guess like it just happens earlier and earlier every year now.

505
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:50,160
Like it used to be like you can go at the beginning of April and you'll catch those cherry blossoms, but it actually bloomed like a couple of weeks earlier that year.

506
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:51,160
Yeah.

507
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:54,160
And I thought it was still fine, but it wasn't like full bloom.

508
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:56,160
It was like starting to decline.

509
00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:57,160
So it wasn't like peak.

510
00:29:57,160 --> 00:29:58,160
Yeah.

511
00:29:58,160 --> 00:29:59,160
I thought it was fine.

512
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:11,160
I mean, in my like, in my opinion, like if we are already paying, I guess, top price for, you know, going during Sakura season, I want to see like the foam blossom.

513
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:12,160
Yeah.

514
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:13,160
Yeah.

515
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:14,160
That makes sense.

516
00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:15,160
Yeah.

517
00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:16,160
Like I guess other highlights of the Japan trip.

518
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:18,160
We went to a couple like Pokemon centers.

519
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:24,160
We went to Akihabara, which is like the Japanese Mecca for nerdy type stuff.

520
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:29,160
Um, we were in Tokyo for several days, but I don't really remember much from our time there.

521
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:32,160
It was Saka and Kyoto, which were both more like historical.

522
00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:36,160
There were like temples and stuff there, which I thought was actually kind of boring.

523
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:44,160
But like, I was also kind of stressed because I was also trying to study for interviews at that time.

524
00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:49,160
Um, so that was like a slight damper on the vacation, but it wasn't too bad.

525
00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:53,160
I was studying maybe like an hour or two or try to every day.

526
00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:54,160
Yeah.

527
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:56,160
I think you were just like in general, more stressed.

528
00:30:56,160 --> 00:31:01,160
Cause I think you were unhappy at your job at the time he was at credit karma.

529
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:06,160
And that was also when like the crypto thing started blowing up.

530
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:13,160
And so you were basically debating, like if you should like go to another job or, you know,

531
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:19,160
do your own thing, but you were in general, like unhappy because credit karma wasn't like,

532
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:22,160
wasn't clear on if they're giving you a promotion.

533
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:25,160
Like they were basically kind of dragging their feet on everything.

534
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:25,160
Yeah.

535
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:29,160
So they ended up giving me a pretty substantial raise, like a 15% raise.

536
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:35,160
Uh, but even with the raise, I was able to get more money at my next job because you just,

537
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:38,160
it's really hard to match market rate for software engineers.

538
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:44,160
Um, but I mean, I really liked my team, um, my director and the rest of the guys,

539
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:47,160
they have like a going away dinner or lunch or something for me.

540
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:52,160
Um, and then they like went all the way up to like the CTO to like approve.

541
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:55,160
Giving me more money to get me to stay.

542
00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:59,160
But eventually the CTO said no and said like, Oh, you know, there's people leaving all the time.

543
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:03,160
Like if we make an exception for Frank, we're going to have to start making it for lots of people.

544
00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:09,160
Um, that same CTO was later found out to be reading our private Slack messages.

545
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:14,160
So like in Slack as an admin, you're able to read all of your employee Slack messages.

546
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:15,160
Like they're not private.

547
00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:16,160
Really?

548
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:21,160
If you're writing sketchy things, you should be worried because that's not private.

549
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:25,160
And so what ended up happening is this news came out that he was reading these messages.

550
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:30,160
And a glass door review came out being like, yeah, our CTO is super sketchy.

551
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:33,160
He's been reading my private messages and other employees.

552
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,160
And he basically couldn't refute it.

553
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:39,160
And they're like, you know, they responded with like, Oh, the employer responded with blah, blah, blah.

554
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:41,160
And everyone's like, he didn't say he didn't do that.

555
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:42,160
Like he did do that.

556
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:43,160
Like he did do that.

557
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:47,160
Uh, and then of course the other half of the people being like, Oh, you didn't know about this already.

558
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:54,160
Uh, but yeah, I obviously have a pretty bad impression of that guy because I would have stayed, uh, had they given me the compensation bump.

559
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:57,160
Um, and like, I liked my team at the time a lot.

560
00:32:57,160 --> 00:32:59,160
I thought my job was pretty good.

561
00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:02,160
Uh, I mean, everything about credit karma was like pretty decent.

562
00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:03,160
Yeah.

563
00:33:03,160 --> 00:33:06,160
They will have all these like nice events that you took me to.

564
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:07,160
Yeah.

565
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:08,160
They had a bunch of events.

566
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:10,160
It was definitely a startup life.

567
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:20,160
Um, yeah, I guess going back to the end of the vacation, we kind of go back home without any issues.

568
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:25,160
And eventually I do end up deciding to start a crypto startup.

569
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:27,160
So this is in like 2017.

570
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:29,160
I leave my credit karma job.

571
00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:31,160
I was evaluating several different ideas.

572
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:39,160
So it was either like AI machine learning type deal, um, AR VR or blockchain.

573
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:43,160
And basically decided like blockchain had the most potential.

574
00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:46,160
Uh, eventually that startup kind of fails.

575
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:51,160
And I'm forced to get another job, which ends up being Grubhub in Chicago.

576
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:53,160
At that point, we're kind of looking to buy a house.

577
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:54,160
Yeah.

578
00:33:54,160 --> 00:34:06,160
So I think the conversation went like we were looking for somewhere that, you know, paid just as much as San Francisco, but also had a cheaper cost of living.

579
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:16,160
And we were evaluating like Seattle, Chicago, and you basically asked me like, Hey, if we were going to move somewhere, where would you go?

580
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:19,160
Um, and I said, it could be Seattle, Chicago.

581
00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:22,160
And like, I think there was another like Austin, Texas or something.

582
00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:25,160
No, I didn't want to go there, but maybe you put it on there.

583
00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:35,160
But anyways, um, and then we chose Chicago just because, you know, I, I had been to Chicago before and I thought it reminded me a lot of like Toronto.

584
00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:40,160
A lot of people say that, um, and so that's where we decided to go.

585
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:42,160
And then we almost broke up before going there.

586
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:43,160
Oh yeah.

587
00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:46,160
It's like, it's not an easy decision for me.

588
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:55,160
Like, as you know, to like to you, it seems like a really simple decision, but he was also like, Hey, you know, you don't have to work anymore.

589
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:57,160
You can just like come hang out with me in Chicago.

590
00:34:57,160 --> 00:35:00,160
I'm going to be making plenty of money for the both of us.

591
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:07,160
And for me, I just like, I just moved to San Francisco for my job.

592
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:16,160
And for me to just like uproot myself, go to Chicago with this random guy that I'm dating, not have a job lined up.

593
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:17,160
Like, what if we break up?

594
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:18,160
And then what do I do?

595
00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:20,160
Like, do I go back, find another job?

596
00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:21,160
Like, do I find a job in Chicago?

597
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:23,160
Do I go back to San Francisco?

598
00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:25,160
It's just gonna like mess everything up.

599
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:36,160
So I was having a really tough time like deciding, even though I contributed in like the, you know, plan of moving to Chicago in the first place.

600
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:41,160
But it was just like really hard for me to decide when it actually came about.

601
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:42,160
Yeah.

602
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:46,160
And I think one of your major worries at the time was you didn't want to find another job.

603
00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:49,160
Like you're really against like interviewing and looking for another job.

604
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:54,160
And then eventually ended up working out because her job allowed her to work remote in Chicago.

605
00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:55,160
Yeah, that's true.

606
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:56,160
Yeah.

607
00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:59,160
And at that point we hadn't gotten engaged yet.

608
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:01,160
Like we got engaged while I was in Chicago.

609
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:08,160
But basically the Chicago job ended up turning out really well because the stock exploded to all time highs.

610
00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:11,160
My stock compensation package like forexed.

611
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:17,160
And so like I think my total compensation when I first joined was only going to be 200k per year.

612
00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:22,160
But then it actually ended up being over 300k because of how high the stock went up.

613
00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:24,160
And so we had all this money.

614
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:27,160
Our place in Chicago was like decent.

615
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:28,160
We got it for pretty cheap.

616
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:31,160
It was like 1850 came with a parking spot.

617
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:34,160
We had two grocery stores right next to us.

618
00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:39,160
And I think I started to gain some weight there because there was like a bunch of pizza and donuts and just.

619
00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:40,160
Yeah.

620
00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:47,160
And you had already gained a bunch of weight because like basically Frank went home for a week before his job started.

621
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:50,160
He gained like 10 pounds while he was home.

622
00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:51,160
Yeah.

623
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:53,160
And so and we were.

624
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:55,160
Oh, and then your family visited you in SF.

625
00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:56,160
Yeah.

626
00:36:56,160 --> 00:37:00,160
So because we were leaving SF, I invited my family down for a trip.

627
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:04,160
Like basically my whole family came down.

628
00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:08,160
And we stayed there for like seven days or something.

629
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:14,160
And because Frank's Grubhub had this like $10,000 stipend for a moving fee.

630
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:15,160
Yeah.

631
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:22,160
He basically just paid for all of our food and hotel like everything like for my family to come visit San Francisco.

632
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:23,160
Oh, yeah.

633
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:26,160
Like and you went home to live for like a whole week.

634
00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:28,160
So it ended up working out pretty well.

635
00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:33,160
And that one week, all I did was play video games and like eat food for an entire week.

636
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:34,160
Yeah.

637
00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:39,160
I didn't even move outside of my house or my parents house for that entire week.

638
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:40,160
So it was pretty good.

639
00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:43,160
So yeah, now we're in Chicago.

640
00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:45,160
Things are getting more serious.

641
00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:47,160
We get engaged.

642
00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:52,160
Well, before we get engaged, we actually had like a really bad fight.

643
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:54,160
Oh, we did have a really bad fight.

644
00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:55,160
Yeah.

645
00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:56,160
What was it about though?

646
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:58,160
I don't remember what it was about.

647
00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:02,160
But you know, knowing Frank, it's never about anything.

648
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:07,160
But like, but it's Frank has like a lot of pride.

649
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:11,160
So whenever you fight him, like even if he's wrong, he's right.

650
00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:14,160
So I always have to be the one apologizing.

651
00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:16,160
And like, I don't know what we were fighting about.

652
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:20,160
But basically, it came down to we're very mad at each other.

653
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:23,160
And I asked Frank, like, should I move out?

654
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:27,160
Like, it's so bad that like, I think it's just not worth it.

655
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:31,160
Maybe I should just find another place by myself.

656
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:34,160
Chill for a couple months and like kind of reevaluate.

657
00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:38,160
And you were like, yeah, I think that's a good idea.

658
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:44,160
And then I like, I was like, no, I don't want to do that.

659
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:47,160
I was like, no.

660
00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:51,160
And then the next day, I went to visit him at work.

661
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,160
And like, I guess we resolved it that night.

662
00:38:53,160 --> 00:39:00,160
And then the next day, he was like, do you want a diamond or like a lab diamond or a moisenite?

663
00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:04,160
And so that's kind of when I was like, oh, yeah.

664
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:07,160
Like in my mind, I'm like an all or nothing type of guy.

665
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:16,160
So at that point, I was thinking like, okay, we're either breaking up immediately, like in the very near future, or we have to get married, which is probably like not the right way to think about it.

666
00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:17,160
But that's how my mind works.

667
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:22,160
Like I go for, basically, I'm like all in, I'm either all in or I'm all out.

668
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:28,160
So like with Annie at that point, I basically made the decision that I am all in and I'm going to marry her.

669
00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:31,160
And like, Annie's more of a romantic.

670
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:37,160
So she would have preferred if I did all of this in like secret and like did like a surprise engagement or something.

671
00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:38,160
But I'm a bit more practical.

672
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:40,160
So I wanted to know like, like, what diamond do you want?

673
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:46,160
Because if it was up to me, I would have just gotten like a fake moisenite or even something cheaper that looks like a diamond.

674
00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:49,160
But then Annie's like, oh, no, I want a real diamond.

675
00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:53,160
And then she like said, like, I want this cut, et cetera, et cetera.

676
00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:54,160
Yeah.

677
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:59,160
So we actually like kind of went through the process together of, you know, selecting the rain.

678
00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:02,160
And we actually got it from a really good jeweler.

679
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:07,160
Well, it's not really a jeweler, but like they have pretty good deals on their diamonds.

680
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:15,160
And so we were able to select a diamond for a much cheaper price and it would have been like if we went to like a branded place.

681
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:21,160
Yeah. So basically I found this tool online that would give you the best price to performance ratio.

682
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:25,160
So our budget at that time, we didn't actually have a ton of money.

683
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:30,160
I think I only had like 10 or 15 K in cash total in my checking account.

684
00:40:30,160 --> 00:40:33,160
And so like most of my money was tied up in other stuff.

685
00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:38,160
And so at that point, my budget was like 10 K because I'm like, oh, I don't want to spend all of my money.

686
00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:42,160
But then the like best price to performance ratio was like 13 K.

687
00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:45,160
So I'm like, oh, well, I got to get this one now because like the value quote unquote.

688
00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:47,160
Yeah. Because Frank is all about the value.

689
00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:48,160
Yeah.

690
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:56,160
And then, I mean, basically we get engaged in the engagement story is like that also didn't go correctly.

691
00:40:56,160 --> 00:41:01,160
Because like basically what ended up happening is I was trying to send her this like surprise video.

692
00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:05,160
And basically it's like a picture book of a bunch of our photos together.

693
00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:14,160
So the jeweler actually sent you a prompt to create one of these like online like picture books or like memory books.

694
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:18,160
And so basically I make it, I send it to Annie.

695
00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:20,160
I'm like ready to propose that night.

696
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:20,160
Yeah.

697
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:22,160
And she like can't get it to work.

698
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:28,160
Okay. So I was cleaning like I just had like finished cooking and I was cleaning the kitchen.

699
00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:30,160
And Frank was like, hey, I just sent you something.

700
00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:32,160
Do you want to check your email?

701
00:41:32,160 --> 00:41:34,160
I was like, wait, wait, wait, I'm busy.

702
00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:36,160
Like, and then so I continued to clean.

703
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:40,160
And then in 30 minutes, he was like, hey, can you check your email, please?

704
00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:43,160
And I'm like, no, no, I'm busy.

705
00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:47,160
And then he just got like kind of like frustrated.

706
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:49,160
I was just like, hey, it's really important.

707
00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:50,160
Like check your email.

708
00:41:50,160 --> 00:41:52,160
And then so I was like, oh, okay, fine.

709
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:56,160
And then I go open my computer and then my computer crashes.

710
00:41:56,160 --> 00:41:58,160
And that is not what happened.

711
00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:03,160
So basically she could not open the email, get it to work for the life of her.

712
00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:06,160
I'm just thinking like, why can she not do the simple thing?

713
00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:07,160
He was like, God damn it.

714
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:09,160
I have to fix your computer now.

715
00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:17,160
And then so he takes over the computer and just like frantically like gets it to work.

716
00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:19,160
And then he passes it back to me.

717
00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:21,160
But at that point I'm like, okay, I'm not interested.

718
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:23,160
The moment is ruined.

719
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:24,160
The moment is ruined.

720
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:26,160
This is definitely not happening tonight.

721
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:31,160
But then I'm thinking like after all that and like we go to sleep, I kind of like calm down.

722
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:32,160
No, no, no.

723
00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:34,160
So but that night I like open it.

724
00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:39,160
Like once you fixed it, I open it and then I see this like picture book or whatever.

725
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:41,160
I'm like, oh, are you going to propose?

726
00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:43,160
And then he's like, not anymore.

727
00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:45,160
He just leaves.

728
00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:47,160
I don't leave because we live together.

729
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:48,160
Yeah.

730
00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:50,160
I just like goes to the other room.

731
00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:57,160
And so that during that night, as Annie is sleeping, I slip on the ring while she's sleeping.

732
00:42:57,160 --> 00:43:02,160
And then my idea is like, oh, yeah, I'll like propose in the morning when she wakes up.

733
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:05,160
And then she wakes up and she sees like the ring on her finger.

734
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:08,160
Yeah, I was like, it feels like something's on my finger.

735
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:14,160
And obviously, I kind of knew just because, you know, we had that talk last night.

736
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:16,160
So I was like, I feel like something's on my finger.

737
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:19,160
And I look and like, you know, I had a ring on it.

738
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:22,160
And then I was kind of just like, what?

739
00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:24,160
Like, you didn't even propose.

740
00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:29,160
And then Frank is like, and I'm like, you have to propose to me.

741
00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:30,160
He's like, no.

742
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:32,160
I'm like, babe.

743
00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:34,160
He's like, I refuse.

744
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:35,160
It's already on.

745
00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:36,160
It's already done.

746
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:43,160
And like, so I basically like, I got upset.

747
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:45,160
I forced him to like propose to me.

748
00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:46,160
I was like, fine.

749
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:47,160
Well, you marry me.

750
00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:51,160
Yeah, it wasn't my best moment for sure.

751
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:58,160
And so I had like other ideas like renting out a movie theater or like getting a drone and like having that.

752
00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:00,160
But then I saw something like a guy tried to do that.

753
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:02,160
And then the drone actually dropped the ring.

754
00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:03,160
Yeah, they like lost it.

755
00:44:03,160 --> 00:44:09,160
And like the movie theater thing wasn't as easy as I thought it would be because it's like you can't just easily rent out a movie.

756
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:14,160
Yeah, you probably have to buy like every single ticket there or something.

757
00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:15,160
Yeah.

758
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:17,160
But he was telling me all these ideas.

759
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:19,160
I'm like, that would have been really nice.

760
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:22,160
That would have also been very nice.

761
00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:24,160
Yes.

762
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:26,160
I mean, at that point, we're engaged.

763
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:28,160
We start planning the wedding.

764
00:44:29,160 --> 00:44:32,160
Mostly Annie's like doing essentially all of it herself.

765
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:34,160
I'm just like, she'll ever so often ask for my opinion.

766
00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:35,160
I'll just be like, yep, that looks good.

767
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:36,160
That looks good.

768
00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:37,160
That looks good.

769
00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:48,160
Like in my mind, I'm like, I just wanted us to like go sign some papers and like do like a really, really small wedding with maybe like our families and maybe like a couple close friends.

770
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:55,160
Even at like the last moment, like Frank was still like, I don't want to have this wedding.

771
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:57,160
Like this is not what I want.

772
00:44:57,160 --> 00:44:58,160
Yeah.

773
00:44:58,160 --> 00:44:59,160
Yeah.

774
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:05,160
And I had also read something that said that like the more extravagant your wedding, the less likely it is for your marriage to work out.

775
00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:08,160
But this is kind of like the actual wedding itself was great.

776
00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:14,160
Like I thought it was definitely worth it, especially because Annie planned so much of it herself.

777
00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:16,160
We actually saved probably over like $10,000.

778
00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:21,160
We actually did sign our official wedding registry papers in Chicago.

779
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:24,160
So I don't remember exactly when we did that.

780
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:26,160
We did it on 420.

781
00:45:26,160 --> 00:45:34,160
But basically, the idea was that like, oh, if we get this process started sooner, we can start getting Annie's green card sooner.

782
00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:39,160
And like at that point, like in my mind, we're like basically married already.

783
00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:42,160
And so we thought like, okay, might as well make it official.

784
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:45,160
And yeah, that was just like the two of us.

785
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:51,160
We went in, got it signed, got it officiated by this like the random dude who does that paperwork.

786
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:52,160
Yeah.

787
00:45:52,160 --> 00:45:53,160
Yeah.

788
00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:58,160
And you don't need a, you don't need a witness if you're getting married in Chicago.

789
00:45:58,160 --> 00:45:59,160
So.

790
00:45:59,160 --> 00:46:02,160
Oh, and I think at this point, I don't remember at what point we started to get more wealthy.

791
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:07,160
Maybe even started off in the Bay Area, but we started checking out more and more Michelin stars.

792
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:12,160
And I basically realized that I hate going to Michelin restaurants.

793
00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:13,160
Yeah.

794
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:13,160
Okay.

795
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:19,160
So we actually started going to Michelin stars in Chicago just because like the cost of living is so low in Chicago.

796
00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:23,160
And like Frank was making quite a bit of money.

797
00:46:23,160 --> 00:46:25,160
Like I was always making like no amounts of money.

798
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:28,160
So, you know, let's just pretend I don't make any money at all.

799
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:37,160
And so basically we had enough money to spend on like anything we wanted.

800
00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:42,160
But we were not the type of people to like buy luxury bags or like luxury cars.

801
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:44,160
Like we, we don't spend on that type of stuff.

802
00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:50,160
We also lived in a decently cheap apartment, which was only like $1,800 a month.

803
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:52,160
So we spent all of our money on food.

804
00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:56,160
Like we don't look at prices when we go grocery shopping.

805
00:46:56,160 --> 00:47:01,160
We don't look at prices when we go eating at restaurants, which is really nice.

806
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:12,160
So we've probably been to like three or four or even more Michelin stars in like specifically in Chicago.

807
00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:13,160
In Chicago, we went to like three or four.

808
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:14,160
Yeah.

809
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:16,160
And then later on when we went to the Bay Area, we went to a bunch more.

810
00:47:16,160 --> 00:47:25,160
But like, yeah, in my opinion, it's just not worth it because going to a Michelin star restaurant, like if you think about the quality of food, it can only get so much better.

811
00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:28,160
So it's like a logarithmic scale for how much better it tastes.

812
00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:33,160
And so they start to like add to the quote unquote experience in all these other ways.

813
00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:35,160
So we went to a three star, like Acadia.

814
00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:36,160
We went to Alinea.

815
00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:37,160
Alinea.

816
00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:38,160
Yeah.

817
00:47:38,160 --> 00:47:45,160
And so what they do is they basically have all this food that looks really interesting, but doesn't taste that much better.

818
00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:46,160
Yeah.

819
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:49,160
It's, it's all about the experience and tricking your mind.

820
00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:58,160
So, um, for example, they came up with a jar of what looked like vanilla beans, like fresh vanilla beans.

821
00:47:58,160 --> 00:48:00,160
So I was like, oh, it's a vanilla bean.

822
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:10,160
And then Frank was like, it looks like a dehydrated, like green bean, but it actually was a vanilla flavored beef jerky that was made to look like a vanilla bean.

823
00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:17,160
And they also have tomato purees, um, put into like a mold that looks like a strawberry.

824
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:20,160
So you think you're eating a strawberry, but it's tomato flavored.

825
00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:23,160
So like, it's honestly not even for everyone.

826
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:37,160
Like at some point, like it's not even enjoyable anymore because it's just, um, but the coolest part about Alinea is at the very end, the dessert that you get is a helium balloon that's made out of apple taffy.

827
00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:41,160
So it's, they give you a balloon, but you can like scrunch it up and eat it.

828
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:42,160
Yeah.

829
00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:44,160
I think they also change the menu every so often.

830
00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:45,160
So they might not have that anymore.

831
00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:47,160
Uh, but that's what they had when we went there.

832
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:52,160
Um, and after like a couple more times of this type of experience, I'm just like, okay, this is not for me.

833
00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:54,160
Cause it, it takes a long time.

834
00:48:54,160 --> 00:49:00,160
They take you through all these tiny courses and ends up being like a three hour affair typically.

835
00:49:00,160 --> 00:49:01,160
Yeah.

836
00:49:01,160 --> 00:49:04,160
And like every time we go, Frank is like this.

837
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:05,160
Yeah.

838
00:49:05,160 --> 00:49:08,160
I'm just thinking like, he's like, I'm about to fall.

839
00:49:08,160 --> 00:49:09,160
Yeah.

840
00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:10,160
I'm like tired.

841
00:49:10,160 --> 00:49:12,160
I'm like not getting my food quick enough.

842
00:49:12,160 --> 00:49:18,160
Cause like, I'm usually hungry by the time we go, I'd rather just like go to a place and eat a bunch of food.

843
00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:22,160
Uh, that tastes good, but like comes out in a fast manner.

844
00:49:22,160 --> 00:49:25,160
And sometimes they'll try to like sit down and talk with you, which I am not into.

845
00:49:25,160 --> 00:49:26,160
Oh, right.

846
00:49:26,160 --> 00:49:30,160
So for Valentine's day, we went to this place called parachute in Chicago.

847
00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:34,160
And the lady was like, Oh, like, are you guys from the Bay area?

848
00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:35,160
And we're like, yeah.

849
00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:36,160
Like, how do you know?

850
00:49:36,160 --> 00:49:39,160
And she was like, Oh, like I can just help by the look of you or something.

851
00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:43,160
And then, so she was like having small talk and we were like talking about a lot of things.

852
00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:47,160
And then she was like, she looks over to Frank and was like, Oh, is this your boyfriend?

853
00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:49,160
Or I think you were my fiance at the time.

854
00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:52,160
And then she was like, Oh, nice to meet you.

855
00:49:52,160 --> 00:49:57,160
And Frank was like, yeah, he tries to turn away.

856
00:49:57,160 --> 00:50:04,160
And then she was like, he's like, he just like hates people.

857
00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:08,160
It wasn't that exaggerated, but that's pretty much what happened.

858
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:11,160
Um, during that time we got really into board games.

859
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:16,160
I bought like, I don't know, a hundred or so board games.

860
00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:17,160
Oh my gosh.

861
00:50:17,160 --> 00:50:18,160
Frank is a collector.

862
00:50:18,160 --> 00:50:19,160
Yeah.

863
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:22,160
And we, um, I also bought all my Pokemon cards during that time.

864
00:50:22,160 --> 00:50:30,160
So like in 2018, I basically bought every single holographic Pokemon card from the first 11 sets.

865
00:50:30,160 --> 00:50:36,160
I also bought every holographic from the first like six or so sets of Yu-Gi-Oh!

866
00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:38,160
And at that time, Annie was like hating on me so much,

867
00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:41,160
complaining about how all these cards were coming in all the time,

868
00:50:41,160 --> 00:50:44,160
which actually ended up being one of my best investments.

869
00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:46,160
Cause they ended up like 10 X-ing.

870
00:50:46,160 --> 00:50:47,160
Yeah.

871
00:50:47,160 --> 00:50:51,160
I think, you know, it's good to kind of address our investment style.

872
00:50:51,160 --> 00:50:55,160
Like I always, you know, I was brought up with like, you know,

873
00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:59,160
you got to save what you have and just like save.

874
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:00,160
Like, that's the only thing I knew.

875
00:51:00,160 --> 00:51:07,160
Like I barely invested at that point and I wasn't willing to lose what I put in an investment.

876
00:51:07,160 --> 00:51:10,160
Whereas Frank is more like optimistic.

877
00:51:10,160 --> 00:51:12,160
Like he doesn't really think about that.

878
00:51:12,160 --> 00:51:17,160
He's going to lose that money, but he thinks about what he's going to gain from investing that money.

879
00:51:17,160 --> 00:51:18,160
Yeah.

880
00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:20,160
And then Annie's background is she's much more into real estate.

881
00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:26,160
Like I've never been that much into real estate, which is why she was always looking for either investment properties or buying a house.

882
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:33,160
And then for me, I was always looking at crypto stocks or like these collectibles because that's just kind of the stuff that I knew.

883
00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:34,160
Yeah.

884
00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:41,160
So I was really unhappy with Frank buying all these to me like garbage because I thought it was such a waste of money.

885
00:51:41,160 --> 00:51:44,160
Like I would have rather like, you know, save that money.

886
00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:45,160
Yeah.

887
00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:54,160
So like another investment I made, I think in the prior year in 2017, I put like 5k into ETH and ETH was only like $50 at the time.

888
00:51:54,160 --> 00:51:57,160
So I was able to buy a ton of ETH with just 5k.

889
00:51:57,160 --> 00:51:58,160
But it's like all these things.

890
00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:02,160
I usually get in pretty early on these trends to get an early on a trend.

891
00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:04,160
You essentially have to be interested in it.

892
00:52:04,160 --> 00:52:10,160
And I'm interested in a lot of things, but it's like hard to convince someone who doesn't know a lot about that space.

893
00:52:10,160 --> 00:52:13,160
So like to Annie's mind, she's like, oh, this is just like children's cardboard.

894
00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:14,160
Like, how's this valuable?

895
00:52:14,160 --> 00:52:18,160
But to me, it's like, oh, this is nostalgia for childhood.

896
00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:22,160
And these are things that are rare that will never be printed again.

897
00:52:22,160 --> 00:52:25,160
And there's like hundreds of millions of other people who also enjoy this.

898
00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:27,160
It's the number one franchise in the world.

899
00:52:27,160 --> 00:52:31,160
And then I think second is Marvel, but there's like a huge gap between the two.

900
00:52:31,160 --> 00:52:34,160
And so like, eventually it did end up working out.

901
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:42,160
And at that time, I wanted to buy more rare cards, but I kind of held back because it was just giving me so much crap every day.

902
00:52:42,160 --> 00:52:53,160
Every day, a couple of envelopes would come in and he would like open it and like lay it all out on the floor.

903
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:59,160
And like he would just sit on the floor, like looking at his cards and like putting them into binders all day.

904
00:52:59,160 --> 00:53:01,160
It's just such a waste of time.

905
00:53:01,160 --> 00:53:03,160
Which ended up not being a waste of time.

906
00:53:03,160 --> 00:53:09,160
But there's lots of stories where it's like, Annie doubts me in the beginning, but then later on I'm proven right.

907
00:53:09,160 --> 00:53:18,160
But there's also lots of stories where I was wrong eventually, which I talk more about in like my investing and finance podcast slash TikToks if people are interested.

908
00:53:18,160 --> 00:53:19,160
Yeah.

909
00:53:19,160 --> 00:53:23,160
Oh, we actually also bought our first investment property.

910
00:53:23,160 --> 00:53:24,160
Oh, yeah.

911
00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:29,160
And I was super against the idea at the time because I was like, well, mostly just because I didn't understand it as well.

912
00:53:29,160 --> 00:53:32,160
Because I was really familiar with like stocks, crypto and these collectibles.

913
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:39,160
So like the situation was almost flipped or in the sense where I was like, no, like real estate is a bubble, blah, blah, blah.

914
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:40,160
Yeah.

915
00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:43,160
And rightfully so, because I don't do research.

916
00:53:43,160 --> 00:53:47,160
Like, so basically I went to Toronto by myself.

917
00:53:47,160 --> 00:53:51,160
One of my friends is like a developer or he works for a developer.

918
00:53:51,160 --> 00:53:56,160
And there was like a friends and family event where you can get in on these like deals early.

919
00:53:56,160 --> 00:53:59,160
And so I basically came back and Frank and I weren't married at the time.

920
00:53:59,160 --> 00:54:05,160
Like, yeah, I think we were about to be married on paper soon at this point, but we weren't married.

921
00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:06,160
And so I came back.

922
00:54:06,160 --> 00:54:08,160
I'm like, babe, we got to invest in this.

923
00:54:08,160 --> 00:54:11,160
And like, again, we didn't have that much money at the time.

924
00:54:11,160 --> 00:54:18,160
But the whole point of like getting a development or pre-construction is that you have a lot of leverage.

925
00:54:18,160 --> 00:54:24,160
And so you only need to pay 10% like for the first like three years or something.

926
00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:30,160
And so it was just a feeling that I had that this was going to be a good project.

927
00:54:30,160 --> 00:54:31,160
Yeah.

928
00:54:31,160 --> 00:54:34,160
And like we fought about it because I would ask her all these questions and she'd be like, I don't know.

929
00:54:34,160 --> 00:54:35,160
I don't know.

930
00:54:35,160 --> 00:54:36,160
I don't know.

931
00:54:36,160 --> 00:54:37,160
Don't ask me.

932
00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:39,160
Like, I don't know how to explain this.

933
00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:41,160
But eventually, yeah, we did buy it.

934
00:54:41,160 --> 00:54:46,160
And the investment did end up working out in the sense that like we've made money on it.

935
00:54:46,160 --> 00:54:49,160
Not like a ton of money, but like a decent amount.

936
00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:53,160
So yeah, bringing it back to our marriage story a little bit.

937
00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:56,160
At this point, Annie's done most of the preparations.

938
00:54:56,160 --> 00:54:58,160
We're going to our wedding destination.

939
00:54:58,160 --> 00:55:00,160
We've invited all of our family and friends.

940
00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:03,160
It's going to be around 200 people for the total.

941
00:55:03,160 --> 00:55:05,160
No, no, it was only like 70 people.

942
00:55:05,160 --> 00:55:06,160
Oh, 70.

943
00:55:06,160 --> 00:55:07,160
Okay.

944
00:55:07,160 --> 00:55:12,160
And so it's much bigger than I would have liked, but still smaller than like a super mega wedding.

945
00:55:12,160 --> 00:55:13,160
Yeah.

946
00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:15,160
And surprisingly, you go through that list.

947
00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:17,160
Like it adds up really quickly.

948
00:55:17,160 --> 00:55:19,160
We actually saved probably over like $10,000.

949
00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:21,160
Yeah, probably more than that.

950
00:55:21,160 --> 00:55:24,160
I mean, so we were pretty lucky in a few cents.

951
00:55:24,160 --> 00:55:29,160
Like the venue that we got is like an unconventional venue place.

952
00:55:29,160 --> 00:55:30,160
It's like really nice.

953
00:55:30,160 --> 00:55:32,160
It's on top of a mountain.

954
00:55:32,160 --> 00:55:37,160
But it's not typically used as a wedding venue.

955
00:55:37,160 --> 00:55:40,160
It's usually like a ski resort.

956
00:55:40,160 --> 00:55:45,160
And so that's why they gave it out for like such a cheap price.

957
00:55:45,160 --> 00:55:49,160
And then we also did all the flowers ourselves.

958
00:55:49,160 --> 00:55:52,160
My dad and I are both like very DIY people.

959
00:55:52,160 --> 00:55:55,160
So like we did all the decorations and the flowers ourselves.

960
00:55:55,160 --> 00:55:57,160
I also made my own cake.

961
00:55:57,160 --> 00:56:05,160
And the part that we spent the most amount of money on is the videographer and the photographer,

962
00:56:05,160 --> 00:56:10,160
which were like really important to me and like my side of the family.

963
00:56:10,160 --> 00:56:12,160
Like we just like want all the memories.

964
00:56:12,160 --> 00:56:18,160
That ended up being like $10,000 out of our like $30,000 budget.

965
00:56:18,160 --> 00:56:21,160
It ended up being extremely worth it in my opinion.

966
00:56:21,160 --> 00:56:26,160
Like we had a ton of really good pictures that I still use to this day for random stuff.

967
00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:27,160
Like we have really good headshots.

968
00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:29,160
They're very professional.

969
00:56:29,160 --> 00:56:33,160
Shout out to Cliff Ma from Cliff Ma Photography in Vancouver.

970
00:56:33,160 --> 00:56:37,160
If you guys have a chance to plan your wedding photos, definitely check him out.

971
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:43,160
Yeah, he does very like candid, like happy, natural shots.

972
00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:47,160
So our photos are definitely like the highlight.

973
00:56:47,160 --> 00:56:54,160
Yeah, I think the week or maybe I don't know what time before the wedding, we get in another huge fight.

974
00:56:54,160 --> 00:56:55,160
Yeah.

975
00:56:56,160 --> 00:57:00,160
So I think you talked about it on the TikTok.

976
00:57:00,160 --> 00:57:01,160
Is that the fight you were talking about?

977
00:57:01,160 --> 00:57:02,160
Yeah, yeah.

978
00:57:02,160 --> 00:57:07,160
So what ends up happening is we meet with our, with one of Annie's good friends, Cherry.

979
00:57:07,160 --> 00:57:10,160
The same friend that we've basically been talking about.

980
00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:11,160
Talking about the podcast.

981
00:57:11,160 --> 00:57:12,160
Yeah.

982
00:57:12,160 --> 00:57:13,160
At like this cafe.

983
00:57:13,160 --> 00:57:15,160
And I don't know what leads into this.

984
00:57:15,160 --> 00:57:19,160
Like Cherry maybe asked Annie about her YouTube channel or something and like how it's going.

985
00:57:19,160 --> 00:57:27,160
And basically when Annie started the YouTube channel, she made like her own rule of like, oh, I'll make one video per week or something like that.

986
00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:31,160
Yeah, I promise I was going to do one upload per week.

987
00:57:31,160 --> 00:57:42,160
But it ended up being a lot harder because like I did cakes or like baking and it actually takes so much effort to like bake a cake and I decorate it in like amazing fashion.

988
00:57:42,160 --> 00:57:52,160
Like it, you know, like I did like a unicorn cake and like I did a Pikachu cake and it takes a long time and so much effort and that cake just like goes to waste.

989
00:57:52,160 --> 00:57:57,160
Like if I was doing a cake every single week, like we will have so much cake.

990
00:57:57,160 --> 00:58:01,160
And now I see on TikTok people have like these dummy cakes.

991
00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:05,160
I wish I had known about that because it would have saved so much time.

992
00:58:05,160 --> 00:58:12,160
Basically, I did not do one cake per week and I burnt out really fast, too, because it was just not enjoyable for me.

993
00:58:12,160 --> 00:58:14,160
Like I didn't want to do cakes.

994
00:58:14,160 --> 00:58:20,160
And also I was like eating a lot of it, which is not good for my health because like she would make something and be like, oh, it's a waste just to throw it away.

995
00:58:20,160 --> 00:58:22,160
So I try to eat some.

996
00:58:22,160 --> 00:58:24,160
But yeah, eventually.

997
00:58:24,160 --> 00:58:27,160
So this topic came up in this cafe with Cherry.

998
00:58:27,160 --> 00:58:30,160
And I'm basically like, oh, like Annie stopped.

999
00:58:30,160 --> 00:58:31,160
Like she doesn't have the willpower.

1000
00:58:31,160 --> 00:58:36,160
Like there's no way she can be an entrepreneur because like the topic was around like Annie starting something.

1001
00:58:36,160 --> 00:58:41,160
And I was saying basically saying like, oh, like she can't do it because of like she failed doing this YouTube thing.

1002
00:58:41,160 --> 00:58:45,160
Yeah. But then you said it in a really mean way where you were like, you lied to me.

1003
00:58:45,160 --> 00:58:48,160
And I was like, I didn't lie to you.

1004
00:58:48,160 --> 00:58:54,160
Like I fully started this with the intention of like trying to go through with it, but it just didn't work out that way.

1005
00:58:54,160 --> 00:58:56,160
And you're like, no, you lied to me.

1006
00:58:56,160 --> 00:58:58,160
And then so I got really upset, obviously.

1007
00:58:58,160 --> 00:59:02,160
And then we kind of decided to leave the cafe and leave Cherry.

1008
00:59:02,160 --> 00:59:07,160
But we proceeded to like fight the whole way to our like transportation.

1009
00:59:07,160 --> 00:59:10,160
Like we were taking the public transportation.

1010
00:59:10,160 --> 00:59:14,160
And so I was like really upset.

1011
00:59:14,160 --> 00:59:20,160
And this is the day before our wedding, like the day before we are supposed to get married.

1012
00:59:20,160 --> 00:59:26,160
Um, we were already legally married, but we were having the, you know, the family friend ceremony.

1013
00:59:26,160 --> 00:59:33,160
And so, you know, being a girl usually, you know, wine and like, you're just like, well, fine.

1014
00:59:33,160 --> 00:59:34,160
Now I want to break up.

1015
00:59:34,160 --> 00:59:35,160
Right.

1016
00:59:35,160 --> 00:59:37,160
And you expect the guy to be like, oh, I'm so sorry, babe.

1017
00:59:37,160 --> 00:59:39,160
Like, I didn't mean that.

1018
00:59:39,160 --> 00:59:41,160
And so I pulled out that card.

1019
00:59:41,160 --> 00:59:43,160
I was like, okay, fine.

1020
00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:45,160
I just don't think that this is going to work out.

1021
00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:47,160
And I think we should break up.

1022
00:59:47,160 --> 00:59:50,160
And Frank was like, yeah, I agree.

1023
00:59:50,160 --> 00:59:52,160
We should call off the wedding.

1024
00:59:52,160 --> 00:59:55,160
And I was like, what?

1025
00:59:55,160 --> 00:59:56,160
Frank just got so upset.

1026
00:59:56,160 --> 01:00:02,160
He was just like, yeah, no, like, and then so he just started walking off by himself.

1027
01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:06,160
And then I was like, okay, like, we can't do that.

1028
01:00:06,160 --> 01:00:08,160
Like, this is literally the day before the wedding.

1029
01:00:08,160 --> 01:00:09,160
So I'm like chasing him.

1030
01:00:09,160 --> 01:00:12,160
I'm like, again, this is not my fault.

1031
01:00:12,160 --> 01:00:13,160
Like this is me.

1032
01:00:13,160 --> 01:00:15,160
This is Frank being an asshole to me.

1033
01:00:15,160 --> 01:00:18,160
So I'm like chasing him and be like, I'm so sorry.

1034
01:00:18,160 --> 01:00:20,160
Like, I didn't mean to say that.

1035
01:00:20,160 --> 01:00:21,160
Like, I'm so sorry.

1036
01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:24,160
Like, can we please not break up?

1037
01:00:24,160 --> 01:00:25,160
Yeah.

1038
01:00:25,160 --> 01:00:30,160
I mean, there's like other stuff that happened, but like, it's mostly just us arguing over.

1039
01:00:30,160 --> 01:00:36,160
Cause like, it's not just the fight itself, but it's like, we would also bring up a bunch of past things that happened to support our arguments.

1040
01:00:36,160 --> 01:00:40,160
Cause like at this point we've been dating for like two or three years or something like that.

1041
01:00:40,160 --> 01:00:46,160
And so there's like, when you have a fight with your significant other, it's usually not just about the fight.

1042
01:00:46,160 --> 01:00:51,160
But then also like all the things that happened prior in your relationship.

1043
01:00:51,160 --> 01:00:55,160
And it kind of just like builds and builds and like each party gets more and more upset.

1044
01:00:55,160 --> 01:00:59,160
Um, and my thing has always been like, I don't want to support bad behavior.

1045
01:00:59,160 --> 01:01:02,160
So like if Annie is being whiny or something, I'm like, well, I'm not going to give into this.

1046
01:01:02,160 --> 01:01:06,160
Cause like, this is not what I want to reward and what I want to see in the future.

1047
01:01:06,160 --> 01:01:11,160
Yeah. I always describe Frank as like, or the way that he treats me.

1048
01:01:11,160 --> 01:01:13,160
Like he doesn't treat me like a spouse.

1049
01:01:13,160 --> 01:01:18,160
He treats me like a employee that he holds to a very high standard.

1050
01:01:18,160 --> 01:01:21,160
No, no, no, no, no. I treat you like someone I, okay.

1051
01:01:21,160 --> 01:01:24,160
So I always tell Annie, I expect her to be better than me in every single way.

1052
01:01:24,160 --> 01:01:28,160
Like I treat, I have such high expectations of her because I believe in her.

1053
01:01:28,160 --> 01:01:31,160
But then her interpretation is like, oh, well don't believe in me.

1054
01:01:31,160 --> 01:01:33,160
Like I have no expectations.

1055
01:01:33,160 --> 01:01:34,160
Just let me do whatever.

1056
01:01:34,160 --> 01:01:40,160
Yeah. I just want to be protected and loved, like forgiven for whatever fault that I have.

1057
01:01:40,160 --> 01:01:42,160
Like always be like, babe, do you love me?

1058
01:01:42,160 --> 01:01:43,160
And he'll be like, yes.

1059
01:01:43,160 --> 01:01:44,160
And I'm like forever.

1060
01:01:44,160 --> 01:01:46,160
And he's like, no, it depends on you.

1061
01:01:46,160 --> 01:01:49,160
Like it's just like so unromantic.

1062
01:01:49,160 --> 01:01:51,160
Or if she like killed someone, right?

1063
01:01:51,160 --> 01:01:54,160
Or if she cheats on me, like clearly it does depend on some factors.

1064
01:01:54,160 --> 01:01:56,160
That's not what I want to hear, right?

1065
01:01:56,160 --> 01:02:01,160
Essentially what ends up happening is we do make up, we have the wedding, everything goes fine.

1066
01:02:01,160 --> 01:02:05,160
But essentially like, that's kind of the full journey.

1067
01:02:05,160 --> 01:02:08,160
Like clearly a lot has happened after we got married.

1068
01:02:08,160 --> 01:02:15,160
I think what kind of sums it up really well is our relationship has been like a rollercoaster

1069
01:02:15,160 --> 01:02:17,160
in terms of like ups and downs.

1070
01:02:17,160 --> 01:02:18,160
The highs are really high.

1071
01:02:18,160 --> 01:02:19,160
The lows are really low.

1072
01:02:19,160 --> 01:02:24,160
So because Annie and I actually fought so much throughout our entire relationship,

1073
01:02:24,160 --> 01:02:26,160
it actually made both of us into better people.

1074
01:02:26,160 --> 01:02:29,160
Like Annie has become much more patient.

1075
01:02:29,160 --> 01:02:33,160
I've become a lot better at communication, even though there's still a lot to be improved.

1076
01:02:33,160 --> 01:02:35,160
Like I've worked on it a lot.

1077
01:02:35,160 --> 01:02:38,160
I've also learned to be a lot more patient.

1078
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:41,160
And like we've rubbed off a lot on each other.

1079
01:02:41,160 --> 01:02:44,160
So I'm able to see other people's perspective a lot more.

1080
01:02:44,160 --> 01:02:50,160
Whereas before I was much more like self-centric the way that I thought and just like my logical approach to things.

1081
01:02:50,160 --> 01:02:55,160
Whereas now I kind of take more of like the emotional side or like other people's perspective.

1082
01:02:55,160 --> 01:03:01,160
Whereas like Annie now also can see like a lot of the rational reasonings behind the way that I do things in the way that I think.

1083
01:03:01,160 --> 01:03:05,160
And so we're both growing as people.

1084
01:03:05,160 --> 01:03:13,160
And like without the other person, we would both have been worse off, in my opinion, just because we have a lot of strengths that the other does not.

1085
01:03:13,160 --> 01:03:17,160
And we've actually complemented each other really well.

1086
01:03:17,160 --> 01:03:20,160
And like even to this day, we continue to grow.

1087
01:03:20,160 --> 01:03:22,160
We continue to learn how to communicate better.

1088
01:03:22,160 --> 01:03:31,160
Obviously, if anyone who's been in a relationship knows there's tons of compromises, but essentially it's like you tackle problems together as a team.

1089
01:03:31,160 --> 01:03:36,160
Like whenever we have success, like it's our success rather than individual success.

1090
01:03:36,160 --> 01:03:40,160
Even though I like to always claim all the success for myself.

1091
01:03:40,160 --> 01:03:46,160
And so I guess like that kind of wraps up this episode of Frankly Speaking.

1092
01:03:46,160 --> 01:03:49,160
Thank you everyone for listening to our love story.

1093
01:03:49,160 --> 01:03:59,160
It started off with Craigslist and has ended with two little baby boys, a successful and happy marriage and all of you listening to us.

1094
01:03:59,160 --> 01:04:03,160
Thanks for listening to the Frankly Speaking podcast and we'll see you later.